29 Things I've Learned at 29

(And What I Wish I Knew at the Start of My Twenties)

This past March I turned 29. I am a Piscean educator, writer, and full time grad student. But more than anything, I'm a rusher. I've felt myself rushing to finish the next degree, rushing to the next job when the previous one gets too toxic. I'm sure many women in their twenties feel similarly, but we experience an odd pressure to accomplish things before the age of 30. To get all of our life details nice and ironed out before this decade is up. But as I approach 30, I am coming to terms with a very real notion: I don't quite know who I am yet. And I have more questions about my life path than certainties. So with one more year of my twenties left, here's a list of some of the things I've learned up to this point (and what I wish I knew at the start of my twenties).

1. Give yourself the space to be silly. This world can be too serious otherwise.

2. The love you have for yourself will impact every other relationship in your life.

3. The communities we form matter. Ask yourself who in your life is here to support you. And how you are supporting them.

4. As an adult, it gets harder to maintain friendships. We all get busy with jobs and life. So go the extra mile to cross paths with friends when and where you can.

5. There will never be a time when it clicks and you suddenly, "feel like an adult."

6. You will reinvent yourself over and over again. Say hello to each new version of yourself that you bring home.

7. Smile at yourself often.

8. We are taught to not be selfish. But putting ourselves first is so important.

9. Nature is still, and you can be too.

10. There is no right or wrong decision (as hard as this is to hear).

11. We are not meant to exist alone. We need to lean on one another more than ever right now.

12. That trip may hurt your wallet now, but the experiences will be priceless.

13. Your boundaries matter. Get use to trying them out so you can maintain them.

14. You will outgrow certain people. This is okay. Enjoy them for the time they were there.

15. Softness and strength can coexist.

16. Your creative self loves to come out and play. Give them the space to create.

17. Express gratitude even when it seems like you have nothing to be grateful for. There is always something to celebrate.

18. If wealth is measured by time, being in the present moment makes you wealthy.

19. Conflict is normal. Rather than avoiding conflict, surround yourself with people that know how to navigate conflict in healthy ways.

20. You can learn so much about yourself by being in different contexts. Get out of your comfort zone when you can!

21. Stop to count all of the ways in which you have already grown. Your past self would be so proud.

22. Your bank account is not measured by laughter or joy. But these also make you successful.

23. Tell the people you love that you love them more often. We go too often knowing feelings without expressing them.

24. Use your voice and use it often, otherwise people will try to speak for you.

25. Surround yourself with people that inspire you, that express parts of yourself that you are curious about bringing forth.

26. Regulating your emotions does not mean suppressing them, it means helping them come out in healthy ways.

27. Dance often, this is how you tell your body that you are safe.

28. 30 is just a number. Taking the time to be present now will make you happier than "figuring it all out" at some point soon.

29. At some point, future you will look back at yourself now and not recognize certain aspects of yourself. That is normal. That is growth. Love every version of you that is and will ever be.